After the Music Fades

It's been a really long time since I've been on - tragically long - and mostly it's been because of a lack of time. However, I managed to have no homework (except to finish reading the Scarlet Letter, which literally put me to sleep earlier this afternoon), and we had no school on Friday. So, I've found time. :)

This week has been one of the craziest in my school year. From debates in Bible class, to art assignments in English, to a quiz in Trig, Spanish III, and Physics all on the same day! In short, the school year is really kicking up (rearing its ugly head would be a more accurate analogy).

At the beginning of this week, I was rather disappointed. I'd finally finished Driver's Education and my Wednesdays were free, but I was told that there was no worship practice this week. Surprisingly, this turned out to be an enormous blessing. All three of those quizzes (well, the Spanish one was a test, but for the sake of the majority, we'll call them quizzes) were set for Thursday. I thought I was fine, that I understood all the material perfectly. And I did - in Trig and Spanish. But as I began to attempt my Physics homework at around 6:00, I realized I understood none of it. It was nothing like what we'd been doing in class or what we'd done for homework the previous night! Worst of all, the teacher had told us that she would be taking the quiz directly from the homework worksheet. This is where my wonderful, brilliant, loving, extremely talented, beautiful mother came in. (and yes, I really mean that) My mom used to be an electrical engineer, one of those people who bewilder you because they actually comprehend and enjoy subjects such as Physics. Well, I came to her with those ten questions about to cry at about 6:30, and we stayed up until nearly 11:30 until I understood every question except one (which was luckily not one of the six on the quiz). I aced the Physics quiz because of my incredible mother, and I mean I actually aced it!

But let me take you back to Wednesday night. My mom finished explaining everything at about 10:00, watching the presidential debate as we stumbled through it. If I had tried to go back and do the questions on my own right then, I probably would have been in such a frazzled state of mind that I wouldn't have gotten a thing out of it. And I knew it. So, I looked around our living room for something to help me straighten out my tangled thoughts, and my eyes lit upon our piano. Sitting on our piano was a binder. An ordinary binder in size, but stuffed so full of papers that it managed to look colossal. This binder is filled with my personal favorites in worship music, transposed to my perfect keys and arranged in my favorite medleys. I asked my mom if she would mind if I played for a little bit, and she graciously turned off the tv and went to her room to watch the end of the debate, while I sat down on our piano bench.

The binder (which is arranged in alphebetical order) was open to the very first song I have in it: After the Music Fades by Shaun Groves. Previously, I had liked the lyrics of the song (shaun groves is a master at writing lyrics), but what I really loved about it was the tune. That changed Wednesday night. Here are the lyrics, and maybe you'll understand why it was especially powerful that night:

(Verse I)
Lord, take me from this place
Into a world that has no time
No hurries, no worries
Gladly I'd leave them all behind
Down here
I'm letting go and drawing near

(Chorus)
I wanna sing. I wanna fly.
I wanna see from Your side of the sky
I wanna love. I wanna stay.
Wanna be close to you
Long after the music fades

(Verse II)
Lord, I come to bring You
Much more than just a melody
Please take me and break me
Right now, God, I don't want to leave
Unchanged
I never want to be the same

(Bridge)
'Cause Lord, You are Mighty, Awesome, Righteous, Gracious, Knowing, In me, Overflowing.
Father, Teacher, Master, Leader, Jealous, Love, You are

The first verse was what really helped me. You see, I didn't pull myself through that night. My mother didn't, either, although she was definitely an enormous help. God did. And when the Bible says we were made to worship, it really means it. Worship is always what sets me back on my feet when I'm down. And worship doesn't mean just singing, although that's a big part of it. (some day I'll post a blog strictly about worship. i keep meaning to.) Because after the music fades away, did it matter? Ask yourself that the next time you stand up and sing (or stand there with your arms crossed) on Sunday morning: did I really mean it? True worship is when you live your life according to God's will, making Him first in everything and casting down all idols. And when you experience true worship, it is really life changing. You'll never be the same, and you'll never want to.

- Becca
p.s. On a different note, I will be taking my driver's test on Thursday. Please pray for me so that I can pass it and take the driving load off of my overwhelmed mother.